| Ellen Bender |
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| By Joel Benjamin | |
| July 9, 2006 | |
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Dear Joel,
I have an 8-year-old daughter who is rated around 1100 (1450 on the ICC). She loves to play chess and has played very well in casual games at school, chess camp and even some local tournaments here in New York City. Recently, however, she has been experiencing something like "brain freeze" at bigger tournaments where she gets nervous, blunders pieces and loses games that she would have won in other circumstances. Do you have any advice about how to get her to relax at the big tournaments? I am also wondering how to balance fun activities (swimming in the hotel pool, running around the hotel with her friends, watching Harry Potter movies in the Hotel room, playing Nintendo DS, visiting tourist attractions) with chess at the big tournaments. Many thanks, Ellen Bender (Mom of Maddie, age 8) Kids are becoming serious tournament competitors at quite young ages nowadays. I'm sure a lot of other parents share your concerns. There is nothing wrong with your child being a little nervous when she plays. She obviously cares about winning her games, which is not a bad thing. You want to try to minimize the amount of pressure she feels. Make sure she understands that you are concerned about these games she loses only because you want her to enjoy her tournaments as much as possible. Tell her to have fun trying to find the best moves without thinking about the result of the game. There is no sure-fire method to make a child relax, but some kind of pre-game ritual might help. You know your daughter better than anyone else, so perhaps you could think of some mildly diverting activity that might relax her before a game. Do keep in my mind that she is very young and may well grow out of problems she is experiencing now. Balancing activities with chess is a complicated and important issue for parents to deal with. When coaching kids at Nationals, I often feel that many of them expend too much energy on outside activities. [My pet peeve: Zombified children in the morning after attending a pro basketball or baseball game the night before] On the other hand, the places you visit at tournaments can provide valuable life experiences. I'm not going to say never go sightseeing, but you run the risk of tiring your child out if you do. Physical activities can be rewarding, but only if there is sufficient recovery time before the next round. I wouldn't recommend swimming with less than an hour to the next round after you are finished. If time is short, watching television or DVDs might be a better idea. Nintendo is okay but not close to round time-we ban them in the team rooms! Every child has a different temperament and different needs. Some children need to be distracted between games, while other need to be kept focused. I had the pleasure of meeting Maddie at a recent Kids Chess Network Camp. I took over a game from a camper who had to leave early, after he had dropped a queen for Maddie's rook. I was not able to avoid defeat! I know Maddie will do just fine in her future chess endeavors.
Joel Benjamin
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